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Foreign Affairs

by Hugo de Verteuil

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1.
Pioneers 04:16
O I mourn and yet exult, I am rapt with love for all Walt Whitman Pioneers! O Pioneers! 1865 Bussed into the woods, with a bag of books, The mirror-driver claiming vanguard. Formative experience, hot summer long From asphalt mallow pillow To last pants off onto-party. Whiskey butter, Green-back-a-dollar, She don't give a damn. Queen pirate, Worker bee, Single, full and fitted sheets. Any ice-cream face Proves easy melting Baby boy show off the monsters you designed during a lecture On the crisis in the furniture and the twenty pound tenet familiar. Parastitic pioneers, disturbed little insect creatures Left rafter for sofa, but blood-suckers don't live long 'round here, Pioneer. And any ice-cream face Proved easy melting Elite hustling Pioneers, Flipping off the frackers On the way to Diana's Place, For waffles and pancakes. It seems to make perfect sense, In the thickly dark and intimate territory. In these woods at night, you might meet somebody.
2.
Shit Tips 06:39
He came from service quarter Oceania, Mother raised him on steamed milk, She held the wand inside his baby bottle Until it turned to wedding silk. Dad taught him how to 'like' How to filter and make lists How to confidence code And build narcotic comfort blankets. He remained at the cafe training centre From 0 until 16. When he reached the regional finals He was like nothing they'd ever seen. So they encouraged him out to the old world; Admin territiory, To those funny old hippies Who've been thinking differently Since the pop-rock century. As he flew over 'production' He thought he heard somebody complain. He closed his eyes, pulled down the blind and sighed, As ephemera enveloped the plane. He practiced cappuccino On the vanity ward His uniform was just a pair of headphones, He could even afford To go to the downtown civil war! In a bar inside a salon, in a shoeshop, in a gym, Adrenaline fuelled him for a while. Still he scooped the mayonnaise into the dish with dirty fingers Now and then to raise a smile. Baby Dino and Blow-Up-Man hit the scene Looking for a photograph. He drained the machine and wondered what they might do With those over-sized body parts. As his uniform played some Benedictine chant, He thought he might as well just ask. His face was swiftly smashed into the floor, on video, Don't you remember? Did you see it? Did you laugh? Don't you remember? Did you see it? Did you laugh? Don't you remember? Did you see it? Did you laugh? She waved her hair extensions Like some kind of flag She tried to leave the building, Riding Blow-Up-Man, Bare foot and piggy back. As he picked his teeth out of the hot chocolate mix He said: "I'm not going to get angry, You'd only love it if I did. Fly me out to fantasy, Playing in a band called "Shit Tips." And everybodys playin our hit: "Why don't you want me to be happy? Why don't you throw some money at me? I'll wear my body like a costume for you, Baby.""
3.
Souvenirs 05:11
Here I am reception Here I am presentation Here I am a flexible chameleon Reserving a room For a glamorous police description (I'm still paying to be) Leaving such An avant-hotel Is to remind myself That I'll never find another lover quite like you Just a plastic alligator and a 'nice' matchbook. The firm went business trippin' Called up for room service They're feeling luxury, They're feeling MTV She's only 23, And so much at ease, (in the melancholy) Bubble-bath An avant-hotel Is to remind myself That I'll never find another lover quite like you Just a plastic alligator and a 'nice' matchbook. So I quit it to go travelling Half way 'round the world But they stopped me at the airport, She said it seemed absurd She said: "True love'll get you laid, if that's what you came here for, but you've got to be paid, to stay in this hotel boy I'll give you three months and no more." Crayola bitter sweet Was the soundtrack Baiting the multiplayer Hercules fantastic. Sat at the buffet With a complimentary breakfast, Iced tea and cocoa, The cookie warm in your hand (waiting to be) Working at such An avant-hotel Is to remind myself That I'll never find another lover quite like you It makes no difference if you've got a lover It makes no difference if you've got a friend When you leave the party alone Your gonna feel that same way again I'm a conquering souvenir
4.
W.R.H.D.R.W 04:10
"Work really hard, and do really well", That's just what you said we'd do, But my every third thought diverts me to you, Some kind of membrane collapsed in me, This much i can tell. When I thought to write, You were still on my pillow, You were still in my room. Though you left me in a freak arctic winter, May you always leave too soon. Airport Belle, Thrill me, With your constant holiday again. I thought we might be blessed by restlessness, But now I just want you to stay. Moderately, melodiously, The over-engine economy harmony. The distant drones of fully loaded jets. In this arrivals lounge, I'm not even waiting for you. Am I to be some kind of antique TV breed? Constantly hoping for an American summer? As if my ringing ears haven't raised me, To want it, to steal away, To be born all over again, And again, and again, and again and again and again. Airport Belle, Thrill me, With your constant holiday again. I thought we might be blessed by restlessness, But now I just want you to stay. I'm calling again. I see you on a screen, That stammers and suddenly stops moving, When the money runs out. My sugar-high stomach, Tight as clean sheets, That are too hot, or more often too cold, And blue, blue without you. A little too late to belong to the 'tube', But i'm still searching, searching for you. And what do I find but another young mans channel, Australian heartbreak that looks like the midlands to me, I'm just waiting, For your peace, For another city, For a meeting beneath the smokeless chimney of a super gallery, And maybe a kiss from you in public.
5.
I've worked 35 years on this Encylopedia Could you spend time here? Pushed against the speaker? Dark and dusty mineshaft Galactica Any old amount of time Trust the boy to write that line Chip away The head of a pin We've good amenities Some lovers drawn on their knees Lack of light for cutting carbon Revelation: You and Me The food's good locally Where pen met paper Now stop, I don't need to understand How the party trick works, the sleight of hand. I know that lawn furniture's no good Covered in snow And words without action never to heaven go. But still no polytope, No poem, No business plan, No leisure-park-lovin', No more lessons from the bandstand Voices out of nothing, good trick My lonely hieroglyph I press my uniform From this lumpy bed Moving together now Think I'm dancing with Hypatia Let's go to the movies It's meant to be a true story Looking out for one another Maybe i'll step on your toe Shall I get the car? Going on and on A mutual endeavour Again and again Where does it begin? It's a drummer's crush Now stop, I don't want to understand How you could ball up the dry grass, and set it alight in your hand. I know that lawn furniture's no good Covered in snow And words without action never to heaven go. But still no polytope, No poem, No business plan, No leisure-park-lovin', No more lessons from the bandstand. I saw a spooky ad, Perhaps the spookiest: "Home is all the leading brands for 60% less!"
6.
Clytie 04:33
What is a song if I can't call you on the phone? An entertaining advert? A label of my own? A sullen polar bear? Like Clytie in the sun? A tiny silver chip caught in my tum like bubble gum? I know, but nevertheless What is a home, with no one to keep it warm for? A sleepless bedroom aria? (Wearing your coat in doors,) An ode to a black sun feeling, That crept across my ceiling, Like the slowly moving light cast by a night-time street sweeper? And what's an education, If you've left it like a moron? Believing there'll be laughter after We're all well long gone. There's no excuse for cynicism If it fits you like a gall stone Bloodless growth without nutrition A position I don't want. Nevertheless, The comments boards all said it sounded self-righteous; You were forgotten. So you moved to the sea, And every Christmas eve, In timeless yuppie costume I saw you shopping. Nevertheless, The comments boards all said it sounded self-righteous.

about

Thanks to Clerken Berken, Slime Turkey, Chimp, Chomp, Chunk, Jim Goon, Cave Goon, Dr Blood, Ham, Sidecar Yoggin, Flute Babe, Opera Babe, Colvince, Space Colin, Craig, The Son of Portslade, Hannah and all the other turkeys.

credits

released January 1, 2012

All songs written by Hugo de Verteuil.
Recorded, produced and mixed by Michael Dignan and Hugo de Verteuil at The Goon Cave, Junk Tech HQ, Niddry Street, Edinburgh, Scotland, 01/08/2011 to 01/06/2012.

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